I'm sorry.
Dear Friend,
I had a conversation with another friend of mine today. We met for some tea and got to catch up. It was so good to see my friend but it was also very sad. He told me that he has taken a brake from Christianity and the church. I was pretty surprised considering the last couple times we had talked he was really thinking about getting into the ministry full time. My friend is very intelligent. He thinks very well for his age. He is only 17.
His decision to take a brake from Christianity and the church was due to the fact that he didn’t feel like Jesus loved him. His reasoning was due in large to his sexual choice. My friend is gay.
When I asked him what has changed since the last time we had talked (and by the way he was gay the last time we talked, he has been gay for as long as he can remember). He thought that it would be better for him to walk away than to remain a Christian who was gay. He thought it very hypocritical (hence the whole feeling that Jesus doesn’t love him, or better yet how can Jesus love him, or so he thought). He also said there was a point when he finally said to himself that he could not think of any good reasons anymore why he shouldn’t or couldn’t be in a relationship…or why he shouldn’t be able to get married. It is so fascinating to me that he thinks this because he could also tell you all the scriptures that say that being homosexual is wrong according to the bible. It was these feelings that caused him to walk away and remove himself from Christianity and the church because certainly there was no room for someone who thought like this. Right? He even said at one point that he liked Jesus, just not the church.
I was so sad to hear him talk about not feeling like Jesus loved him anymore. This was difficult because normally a Christian would explain some different verses or passages in the bible, but because of his background in the church he knew all the right verses and passages. With both of these ideas it was interesting because homosexuality and the lack of feeling love from God are both themes to which if you hang around the church long enough you learn the right verses to these problems. Almost like a prescription that a doctor would give you for a cold or a sickness. For instance,
Person: I am really struggling with my desires for people of the same sex.
Christian: Well, in Romans chapter one verses twenty-six through twenty-seven says…
Person: I don’t really feel like Jesus loves me…I don’t know why, I just feel it.
Christian: Well, have you ever read Psalm 139? Well let me read it to you then…see (persons name) God loves you this much.
This just goes to show that we need to do more than prescribe verses or passages as Christians. When dealing with Supernatural questions, prescriptions don’t always work. We need to explain through the way we live, and love, and use the bible verses as evidence to why we love that way. Or why we live a certain way.
I think that the reason why my friend does not want to go to church or be apart of Christianity right now is because he honestly does not feel any love from Christ. I really believe this. I also think that the reason why he doesn’t feel any love from Jesus is because he doesn’t interact with anyone in the church that loves him like Jesus. Don’t you see? My friend is not interacting with any Christ-like humans. And so he naturally is left only to think that Jesus doesn’t love him anymore. This is not true. Jesus does love him. A lot.
At this point all I could think of while listening to my friend was…I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry (I don’t think that Christians say sorry enough).
To be completely honest, I hate be a Christian sometimes. It is these moments when being a Christian does not bring any hope to anyone, but rather it just brings pain. Out of all the different places that my friend can spend time and feel loved I would have hoped it would have been around his church. Not the building church. The people church. Dang it! He should have felt comfortable in his own skin. Even if it is gay skin. It makes me so sad, and mad, that I have a friend who is gay and he doesn’t want to go to church anymore because he doesn’t feel like people love him. That to me is unacceptable.
We (the church) need to make a decision. We need to decide if we are going to love gay people or not (not just my friend, I know my friend is not the only gay person in the world). This way there is no confusion. We can send out the largest mass e-mail ever and let people know. Because as of right now people are assuming that we have chosen to love them. I am not asking for Christians to condone homosexuality…love has nothing to do with condoning. It has everything to do with the unconditional moments in life. At this moment being gay is very real.
The disciple whom Jesus loved once said something about things to which Jesus did that are not written down. He even said that if all of them would have been written down the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Part of me wonders if one of those things that Jesus did that were not written down was interact with and love a homosexual. I wonder how we would treat gay people then?
It is just frustrating. I know that my friend is not the only one.
My favorite apostle is John. He is the Disciple whom Jesus loved. By most accounts he died around a.d. 98, it was during the reign of Emperor Trajan. Jerome says in his commentary on Galatians that the aged apostle was so frail in his final days at Ephesus that he had to be carried into the church. One phrase was constantly on his lips: “My little children, love one another.” Asked why he always said this, he replied, “It is the Lord’s command, and if this alone be done, it is enough.”
heart.soul.mind.
kyle diroberts
I had a conversation with another friend of mine today. We met for some tea and got to catch up. It was so good to see my friend but it was also very sad. He told me that he has taken a brake from Christianity and the church. I was pretty surprised considering the last couple times we had talked he was really thinking about getting into the ministry full time. My friend is very intelligent. He thinks very well for his age. He is only 17.
His decision to take a brake from Christianity and the church was due to the fact that he didn’t feel like Jesus loved him. His reasoning was due in large to his sexual choice. My friend is gay.
When I asked him what has changed since the last time we had talked (and by the way he was gay the last time we talked, he has been gay for as long as he can remember). He thought that it would be better for him to walk away than to remain a Christian who was gay. He thought it very hypocritical (hence the whole feeling that Jesus doesn’t love him, or better yet how can Jesus love him, or so he thought). He also said there was a point when he finally said to himself that he could not think of any good reasons anymore why he shouldn’t or couldn’t be in a relationship…or why he shouldn’t be able to get married. It is so fascinating to me that he thinks this because he could also tell you all the scriptures that say that being homosexual is wrong according to the bible. It was these feelings that caused him to walk away and remove himself from Christianity and the church because certainly there was no room for someone who thought like this. Right? He even said at one point that he liked Jesus, just not the church.
I was so sad to hear him talk about not feeling like Jesus loved him anymore. This was difficult because normally a Christian would explain some different verses or passages in the bible, but because of his background in the church he knew all the right verses and passages. With both of these ideas it was interesting because homosexuality and the lack of feeling love from God are both themes to which if you hang around the church long enough you learn the right verses to these problems. Almost like a prescription that a doctor would give you for a cold or a sickness. For instance,
Person: I am really struggling with my desires for people of the same sex.
Christian: Well, in Romans chapter one verses twenty-six through twenty-seven says…
Person: I don’t really feel like Jesus loves me…I don’t know why, I just feel it.
Christian: Well, have you ever read Psalm 139? Well let me read it to you then…see (persons name) God loves you this much.
This just goes to show that we need to do more than prescribe verses or passages as Christians. When dealing with Supernatural questions, prescriptions don’t always work. We need to explain through the way we live, and love, and use the bible verses as evidence to why we love that way. Or why we live a certain way.
I think that the reason why my friend does not want to go to church or be apart of Christianity right now is because he honestly does not feel any love from Christ. I really believe this. I also think that the reason why he doesn’t feel any love from Jesus is because he doesn’t interact with anyone in the church that loves him like Jesus. Don’t you see? My friend is not interacting with any Christ-like humans. And so he naturally is left only to think that Jesus doesn’t love him anymore. This is not true. Jesus does love him. A lot.
At this point all I could think of while listening to my friend was…I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry (I don’t think that Christians say sorry enough).
To be completely honest, I hate be a Christian sometimes. It is these moments when being a Christian does not bring any hope to anyone, but rather it just brings pain. Out of all the different places that my friend can spend time and feel loved I would have hoped it would have been around his church. Not the building church. The people church. Dang it! He should have felt comfortable in his own skin. Even if it is gay skin. It makes me so sad, and mad, that I have a friend who is gay and he doesn’t want to go to church anymore because he doesn’t feel like people love him. That to me is unacceptable.
We (the church) need to make a decision. We need to decide if we are going to love gay people or not (not just my friend, I know my friend is not the only gay person in the world). This way there is no confusion. We can send out the largest mass e-mail ever and let people know. Because as of right now people are assuming that we have chosen to love them. I am not asking for Christians to condone homosexuality…love has nothing to do with condoning. It has everything to do with the unconditional moments in life. At this moment being gay is very real.
The disciple whom Jesus loved once said something about things to which Jesus did that are not written down. He even said that if all of them would have been written down the world itself could not contain the books that would be written. Part of me wonders if one of those things that Jesus did that were not written down was interact with and love a homosexual. I wonder how we would treat gay people then?
It is just frustrating. I know that my friend is not the only one.
My favorite apostle is John. He is the Disciple whom Jesus loved. By most accounts he died around a.d. 98, it was during the reign of Emperor Trajan. Jerome says in his commentary on Galatians that the aged apostle was so frail in his final days at Ephesus that he had to be carried into the church. One phrase was constantly on his lips: “My little children, love one another.” Asked why he always said this, he replied, “It is the Lord’s command, and if this alone be done, it is enough.”
heart.soul.mind.
kyle diroberts
posted by Kyle DiRoberts at 11:40 AM
4 Comments:
I am thankful that you love this friend of yours. He will see your love and hopefully he will let that move him. We dont say sorry enough do we?
Thanks for this, Kyle. As I read your post, I began thinking of my sister, who is also gay. I love her very much; & I hope I don't sound out of line when I say I think I even know why she's gay.
It wasn't a simple "choice" like many evangelicals say; nor, was it genetics like many others say. It was a broken heart. And all the intellectual truth in the world cannot heal a broken heart. Only love can go there.
Christ's love healed the prostitute turned worshiper. Christ's love healed the tax-gatherer turned apostle. Christ's love helped me to love myself... to see myself as God sees me & simply agree. Christ's love through me has helped others experience the same freedom. And I believe Christ's love is finding ways to trickle into my sisters broken & battered heart. And after 30 years, my sister is finally beginning to heal. At some point in her healing, I believe she will find Christ & follow Him. Wooed by love, His kindness will lead her to repentance & to a fully healed heart that no longer requires artificial devices to generate feelings of love & acceptbility.
I'm glad you said "I'm sorry", Kyle. I've seen those words shatter walls & barriers that have held for years. Those are words of love. Words spoken not to the mind... but to the heart... where healing is desperately needed.
Your words made my heart ache.... and I just want to echo your "sorry". I love your heart, Kyle... and I've seen Love heal.... I've seen Love heal through you... Continue to love... and pass some on to your friend for me...
I suppose you meant he took a "break" from Christianity, as opposed to a "brake."
Its awesome to see a conservative Christian think outside of "Classical Christian Counseling" theory (aka read this scripture and call me in the morning).
Post a Comment
<< Home